October.

       

Felix and I ended our time in NJ preparing to head to Oklahoma to celebrate one of my best friends (Grace) getting married in Oklahoma! Somehow Grace and her husband Jay decided to get married in Tulsa, OK which is only an hour away from our family lake house where my Aunt, Uncle and cousin now live. We decided to combine the wedding and a visit with family for the same week and we were very excited for some good family and friend time as well as a break from living in the van. 

    However, we had no idea what kind of month we were about to have when we left. Most of you already know the series of events that unfolded but I will try and summarize them as best I can. 

    Felix and I unfortunately tested positive for COVID on our arrival to OK, I did the typical "it's just a sore throat from so much time in the city" thinking there was no way it was COVID. So Felix and I kept our distance from family, and thankfully had my grandparents cabin to stay at in isolation (no grandparents present, don't worry). 

    Grace and our other best friend Sarah were coming to the lake before her wedding day for some girl time with another friend of hers (Joanna). We were still able to enjoy a night together that my Aunt Joan so graciously hosted, we sat outside and I kept my distance while we had dinner, wine and lots of giggles. 

    In the middle of the night before Grace's wedding day, my friend Sarah received the earth shattering news that her husband, Gavin (a friend of ours as well) had died in a climbing accident the day before. I was with Felix at the Cabin, the other girls were at a hotel in Tulsa. We got up and packed and drove straight to the airport to meet Sarah so I could fly with her back to CA. Yes, I did have COVID but Sarah was in need of someone to be with her on that unimaginable flight back to her 2 girls. I was cautious and had an N95 and Sarah never got it thankfully. However, since I still had COVID we decided I would not stay, so I flew right back with plans to return once Felix and I were negative. 

    Somehow I was able to make it back in time to still celebrate Grace and Jay. Felix picked me up at the airport, I got some solid tears out, put on a dress and got to see Grace look just absolutely stunning in her wedding dress (I did miss the ceremony but made it in time for the entire reception). It was clearly not the wedding day Grace had imagined, we both knew we were hurting but put on smiles as best we could knowing this day was still special for her and Jay. 

    Felix and I then recuperated at the cabin, both emotionally and physically. We were recovering and preparing to go be with Sarah and her 2 girls, knowing we had the time and freedom to be there as long as she needed. We bought one way tickets and made our way to CA the following Wednesday.  

    The days before leaving to CA were spent being overwhelmingly well taken care of by my Aunt Joan and Uncle Rob. They showed us what family really is in moments like these. She provided us with groceries, treats, her car when needed, a listening ear, amazing dinners, and really just all the love and support we needed in such a selfless way (this is all with me just showing up with COVID and friends and tragic events, not the visit we had imagined). We still cannot thank her enough, Sarah even got to go on a long walk with her while she was here and they hit it off right away. 

    While we were at the airport waiting to fly to CA, I got the unfortunate news that my sweet Grandpa was not doing well in the hospital. We knew things had been not going well for awhile with ups and down with his heart, blood pressure, falling and then COVID but definitely did not think it was going to head in the direction it did so quickly. My mom and her sisters were there with him, making all the hard decisions that led to the ultimate decision that he did not want extreme measures which lead to hospice placement. We knew as we made our way out to CA that we would likely be heading to Texas soon for his funeral. Thankfully we were able to send last words of love and appreciation for the man he was to us and the legacy he left. We were in CA for about a week before we got the news that he passed away peacefully. After what we were processing with Gavin's death we couldn't help but be so thankful for the long, lovely life he was able to live. 

Picture taken this past December, 2021 - I was able to get quite a few great visits with him this past year. Felix and I also had a wonderful day at the ranch this March with him as he taught us how to feed the cows and we helped him fill the feeders using the tractor. 

The day before the funeral all of the cousins had a great day on the Ranch, the place that Grandpa was born and continued to be his favorite place. It was where he taught all the grandkids to drive in the classic yellow Jeep, which we all took out for a spin (no pictures unfortunately). 

Both my parents and my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Ted are building on the Ranch, it's pretty incredible to see the family continue to take care of the land and make it a place of gathering for all the generations to come.

Every. single. cousin. made it out for the funeral. That is 12 grand children total from all over the states. 

A Hook em' for Grandpa where he received his PhD in Civil Engineering. (I was the only grandchild to go to UT Austin, unfortunately I was the worst UT Alumni ever and could care less about the UT teams but I pretended to care for him haha). 

The burial. All the grandsons carried his casket to be buried next to Granny in the Doss cemetery near the Ranch, his two favorite places. 

Grandpa (Stanley) was an inspirational man who lived his life full of honor, love and commitment to the people and things he loved. My favorite thing about him was how he seemed to soften with each year that passed and I felt more and more connected to him and loved by him as I got older. He always showed such genuine interest in my life and my adventures, providing me with additional knowledge about the areas and rock formations we would be climbing, insight I never thought to think about. He was always so encouraging of my traveling and we had been in frequent contact during Felix and I recent adventures. I am so glad we had such great visits with him this past year. 

We will be missing him greatly. 

    The next month was spent with Sarah, her lovely mom Paula and her two incredible daughters Josey and Charlotte as we tried our best to navigate this unfathomable process of grief with them. 

    Sarah and I have been friends for almost 10 years now, we met in Dallas at the climbing gym and hit it off right away. I met Felix because I moved to CA to be close to Sarah during the time her and Gavin were getting married. I have possibly spent more holidays with her family than my own these past 5 years and I already considered Sarah on a different level of friendship, she already felt like family to me. So there was no where else I could imagine being at this time (and let's be honest, we joked that I really would have been a jerk to not be there considering I have no jobs, no kids or responsibilities right now). 

    Felix and I were simply just present with them, we were everything from friend, emotional body guard, comedic relief, cook, personal trainee (Sarah still made up the work-outs), walking buddy (walking heals all), babysitter, driver, cleaner, etc. but really when it comes down to it we were just there. One moment would be a tough, raw conversation with tears and within 5 minutes there would be laughter and distraction. I don't really have the words yet to describe the time there, as I was heart broken for the pain my friend was in, the personal sadness of losing Gavin who I cherished as one of my favorite people, I was equally incredibly impressed by Sarah and how she kept her daily motivation to be there for her girls and do what she knew she needed to do to be okay and keep moving forward. I was blown away by the support she has from her family, friends, neighborhood and community. She is surrounded by some truly amazing people and we felt lucky just to get to know them for a little while. 

Charlotte, age 4. (not her real hair despite what you might think)

Josey, age 7. 

Hard not to smile when you've got kiddos like this around. 

Charlotte loves the boys. 

The tree Josey climbs everyday after school, she wasn't used to the company up there.

School pick up but make it a conga line. 

Lots of "hangs" in the front yard. Sarah's neighborhood is an amazing community and would frequently be stopping by for the kids to play, bring food and treats. 

The girls - "Megan get out here and you HAVE to bring your camera, Felix is growing flowers from his hair."

Sarah and Gavin met at SDSU where he played football and she played soccer, they honored him at a game and provided his friends and family with a suite. As every day/event was, it was emotional and hard for Sarah as it brought back a flood of memories for her, but also a good time was had and she got to visit with her old coach and some teammates that mean a lot to her. 

AND it was Felix's first American Sports Game in real live action haha, he enjoyed it and quote " never felt more American than driving 2 hours, one way, on a 6 lane freeway, still packed with cars, to watch college 'kids' play American football". 

The first weekend we were there, Gavin's family held a memorial/funeral service in a park down the street. It was a beautiful day outside, the speeches given by his family and friends were the ones that make you laugh and cry at the same time remembering how weird, independent, creative, authentic and amazing Gavin was. 

Everyone knew Gavin was one of unique style and always preferring to be casual, so it was encouraged for us all to wear Hawaiian shirts. (Gavin even wore one on his wedding day).  

Felix embraced the attire.

The following week Josey turned 7! 

Josey is a honestly just the best. She is kind, thoughtful, brave, smart,  incredibly creative and fun but mostly she is the best big sister to Charlotte with endless patience and love. Her parents have raised her well. 

When she got home from school Felix and I had made a scavenger hunt with clues all over the house with 7 hidden dollar bills and a whoopee cushion at the end (big hit). 

Sarah got Josey a face painting kit for her birthday..however Sarah discovered this may be her new hobby. 

A Sarah creation. I had never thought about face tattoos until now..what do you think?

Josey painted everyone else's faces with some original ideas. 

It appeared that everyone was in need of some spa treatment. Sarah got creative with Felix's luscious locks and beard.  

The girls, Felix and I set up a spa in the backyard for Sarah while she was at a therapy appointment. The spa consisted of home made signs, home made fans, snacks and drinks, cold cucumbers for her eyes, hair brushing, pedicures and a massage gun treatment. 

Charlotte created her own hair salon out of the air stream that Felix and I were staying in, she called it "The Kitty Kutters" and requested that her customers would put their hair through the small window in the door. 

Felix was a frequent customer. 

The girls were also treated to some spa treatment, facials that didn't exactly fit their face which looked hilarious but they loved it. 

We took an afternoon to take the girls to a Pumpkin Patch (another first for Felix). 

No pumpkins were harmed in the creation of this photo. 

Charlotte is camera shy. 

Then obviously we did some pumpkin carving. 

We were all so proud! But unfortunately the humidity of living by the beach molded the pumpkins within 2 days...still worth it.

Paula (Sarah's mom) watched the girls for a night to let us have a night out of the house. We had fun dressing up and went out to Sushi with her sister and brother-in-law. 

Tried to convince Sarah this should be her new permanent look. 

Gavin and his climbing partner Chelsea (a friend of both Sarah and Gavin's) both died at Tahquitz in Idyllwild, CA in a rappelling accident. If you are interested in more details of the accident, as it is complicated to explain, there is a very thorough report at the site below if you want to copy and paste. 

https://rmru.org/2022/09/28/2022-28/

The 3 of us, Sarah, Felix and I spent a day to take some of Gavin's ashes to where they were climbing and his favorite area to climb there. This place had become a 2nd home to Sarah, Gavin and the girls. He had climbed there many times and knew the area well. The four of us had spent a day out there a few years ago with Sarah and I climbing a route and Felix and Gavin climbing another. 

The absence of his presence that day was heavy. We all knew he should have been there with us. We all still can't believe that he isn't. The day had its as expected moments of deep sorrow and loss, mixed with sharing warm tea, sour gummies and chocolate while listening to some of his favorite songs. 

Sarah - "People might find this picture weird", but Gavin was the weirdest person we know. We all know he would have wanted Sarah continue on in humor and adventure which is what she is trying her best to do. 

It was a beautiful clear day, we had the mountain practically to ourselves. This will forever be a place for Sarah to feel connected to Gavin. 

 

Before we headed home we all stopped by a brewery in town that Sarah and Gavin had gone to last time they were here. As we pulled up the song "In the arms of an angel" by Sarah McLachlan played a little too loudly and we all could't help but laugh of the ridiculousness of how cheesy that song is and how Gavin would have jokingly played that song just for us.

Speaking of, Sarah and I have been writing a sitcom of all the dark humor and ridiculous moments she has had and we have experienced these pasts few weeks. The show is called Dead Serious (how many times do we all say "no, I'm dead serious" or "that would kill me" without thought until something like this happens) and we have 5 episodes already and the content just keeps rolling in. Again, some things might be hard to understand unless you really knew Sarah and Gavin and their relationship. Who knows if the show will ever go anywhere (we love thinking that it will) but the process of writing it all down has been therapeutic enough. 

We spent a lovely Sunday morning at the beach, Sarah planned a paddle out beach day for Gavin to take place the following Sunday so we scoped out the area that she wanted to do it at. 

Too bad I can't surf, hate paddling out and get motion sick in the ocean, otherwise I would totally be a surfer. 

I mean it doesn't get any cuter. 

Halloween! Sarah bought a ghillie suit to scare people which ended up being a huge hit as my costume for Halloween as well as scaring everyone who came in the next weekend for the paddle out. 

Can you find Sarah? 

How about now? 

Sarah doing her new face painting therapy. 

The final products. 

 Their neighborhood all gathered at a house prior to trick or treating with tons of kids in costumes and families dressed up, it was a really nice Halloween and the girls both came home with enough candy for all of us to steal some without them noticing. 

Then THE CREW showed up. Gavin's best friends and sister and Sarah's close friends all came in and stayed at the house for the weekend of the paddle out. Katya made t-shirts for everyone with fun/cool pictures of Gavin on them. 

A short neighborhood stroll turned into a trek to the beach.  

Jay and Felix helping me out. 

Jay helping me, Felix and Gus out. 

James didn't need no help. 

The ghillie suit got EVERYONE (except Josey, but we all agreed it was user error which was me for that one). We have great video content that has some explicit language so will not be posted. 

Poor quality photos, high quality people. James and Gus are Gavin's best friends, Maggie on the left is James' wife. 

Morgan, Gavin's sister. 

Evan, Kristin and Grace. 

Then it was time for the paddle out and beach day. Sarah wanted a day Gavin would have loved, just a day on the beach in the water and playing games on the sand with everyone there that he loved, and that's exactly what we did. 

Sarah asked everyone to write what Gavin's life will inspire us to do with our own. 

Josey wrote on the board multiple times. 

The crew gathered for the paddle out. 

Once we all made it past the waves with some much more intense waves than we expected we all circled around and held hands as Sarah and Josey paddled to the middle for a few words. Then they spread some ashes and we all tossed flowers and started splashing the water. It was an unforgettable moment. 

 

The completed board.

And just some more moments. 

Piano lessons from Charlotte. 

Their living room. 

Morning coffee with Josey. 

Feeling like Huntington Beach locals.

A starfish!

And mint chocolate chip cupcakes on our last night there. 

It's hard to sum up a month like this one. Felix and I have returned to our van and are making our way south slowly for the holidays. It feel like a whirlwind to be back. We are just so grateful that we had the time and freedom to be where we needed and wanted to be this month.